


Take Care of Yourself Even Though I'm You

by woody1424



Series: ATEEZ meets HALATEEZ [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Kim Hongjoong, Eventual Smut, Fluff, HALATEEZ au!, HALATEEZ is different from ATEEZ mostly, HALATEEZ meets ATEEZ, Hongjoong and himself basically but not really, Hongjoong is insecure and overworked, Hongjoong's POV, M/M, Soft Kim Hongjoong, Top Mik Joonghong (HALATEEZ)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:46:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28684275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woody1424/pseuds/woody1424
Summary: When you see yourself in a different way, you never really know what to expect. All I can do is look at the other version of myself as he looks at me in the same way. His face is the same as mine and it feels almost asinine whenever we meet eyes.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong x Mik Joonghong (HALATEEZ)
Series: ATEEZ meets HALATEEZ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102460
Kudos: 15





	Take Care of Yourself Even Though I'm You

_ When you see yourself in a different way, you never really know what to expect. All I can do is look at the other version of myself as he looks at me in the same way. His face is the same as mine and it feels almost asinine whenever we meet eyes. The others seem to feel the same, but I can see Wooyoung and Youngwoo already talking and getting along.  _

_ Mingi reaches out for his shadow replica before touching him lightly on the cheek. I could hear him whispering words that resemble something like ‘he’s real’. Sangyeo is trying to talk to Yeosang, but that already seems to be failing as Yeosang soon gets up and walks a good few feet away.  _

_ I laughed at that and I could see my mirror image just smirk. Seonghwa and Hwaseong still look suspicious, but something was hiding behind the darker male’s eyes as he now looks at Seonghwa in an almost hungry way. I flinch at that but steady my attention back on my copy before he just looks at me.  _

_ His hair is in a mullet with a caramel color seeming to complement it. A white and black striped sweater is his choice of a top as leather jeans seem to outline his legs. His eyes are dark as well as how his smile lurks at me, but I just return it as friendly as I can to see how he would react.  _

_ I already told the shadows, or whatever they are, that they could just stay in the guest rooms until we find out where they came from and why. So now, I decided that I would get dinner ready for the others before moving on to the kitchen. I could tell that most of my dongsaengs wanted me to stay in the room, but no one would take care of dinner if I just stayed.  _

_ I soon make it into the kitchen, the tension rolling off of my shoulders before I begin to go through the cabinets before finally deciding to make some Bulgogi. The kitchen is soon filled with the steamy smell of vegetables cooking as I go over to check on the rice.  _

_ Soon, I hear footsteps come into the kitchen. Something told me that it was one of my younger members, so I continued with my cooking as I could hear the heavy footsteps get closer. Suddenly, I feel arms wrap around my waist as a head is on my shoulder. Maybe it was the cool presence or the fact that they are the same height as me, that I knew it wasn’t one of mine.  _

_ I turn around to see him, my doppelganger, staring at the rice that I continue to stir.  _ “What are you making?” _ he asks me as he seems to take in the smell of the fumes surrounding the pot of rice.  _

“Bulgogi. I thought if you guys are the same as us, a simple dish like this one would be something everyone will enjoy.” 

_ He smiles at me before unlatching himself from me to go tend to the vegetables. I went over to see what he’s doing, but he was just seasoning them like I normally do. Wow, he is me, isn’t he? The meat is another thing he goes to check on as I continue to experiment with the rice. With the two of us working together, the meal was plated and presented in much less time than I had expected. After everyone was served, I retreated to the kitchen to fix everything up. The pots and pans are soon cleaned as I wipe a hand over my head to make sure that the sweat is erased from my face.  _

“Didn’t you get anything for yourself Hongjoong-ah?”  _ an eerily familiar voice asks me.  _

_ I look over and see him standing in the kitchen with his dish in his hands. He has eaten some on it-still eating it now as he puts the loaded fork in his mouth and out of it- before he walks over to me. I just nod negatively before trying to keep a positive smile on my face.  _

“Why not?” __

“The members are more important, you understand, so I’ll fix myself something else later when everyone is taken care of.” 

_ That didn’t seem to sit very well with the other. He looks at me with a sharp look before walking closer to me. He takes a bit of meat and puts it on the fork before presenting it to my mouth. When I don’t accept, he soon presses it to my lips. I give in, just to get him to leave me alone before he goes on to give me another bite of what we cooked.  _

“I understand where you’re coming from, Hongjoong, but self-care is important as well. When you don’t care for yourself, the whole team suffers when the one to take care of them can’t provide any more.” 

_ I just nod. Yes, Seonghwa has given me something similar to that speech, but I bluntly ignored it. But as the words leave my own mouth in a strange way, I take them to heart. I allow him to keep feeding me for a few minutes more before the rest of them come in to place their plates in the sink. I know that they usually wash them, but I told them to lay easy today because of this new adjustment.  _

“Let me help.” 

“You don’t have to!”  _ I insist.  _ “Just head to sleep, you will need it.” 

_ He smirks before taking the dish in my hands away from me.  _ “ I don’t have a place to sleep.” 

“Oh, then stay in my room. I have to head to the studio anyways....” 

_ When we both are now getting into the process of washing dishes, I saw that he kept looking at me like I’m crazy. I know that we’re the same person and all, but I don’t understand what the glaring looks are for. I soon meet his gaze once and it doesn't waver once.  _

“Why do you keep staring at me?”

_ He doesn't answer. He just looks at me before grabbing another dish to clean off and dry. I shrug it off before we get closer and closer to cleaning off all of the dishes. When the final one is put away, I see that my clone refuses to make eye contact now. I grab his hand before forcing him to look at me.  _

“I’m gonna take you to my room, okay? I should have some clothes in the closet that you'll find comfortable to sleep in.” 

_ He looks away as soon as I finish talking before I turn off all of the lights. I leave the TV on for the kids on the couch before I lead the other up to my room. I wouldn’t say that my living space is the cleanest, but I wasn’t expecting company tonight.  _

_ As he walks into my room, we forget to turn on the lights. I never turn them on anyway, since I’m never really here, and the fact that I’ve learned to navigate dark spaces. I closed the door since I knew that the dongsaengs would most likely burst in if I left it open.  _

_ As I turn around to walk more into my room, I’m suddenly shoved up against the door. I almost scream, but my mouth is soon covered as I feel a hot breath next to my ear.  _ “If you even dare to make a noise, I’ll-” 

_ I kick him in the balls before pinning him to the ground. I don’t know what he was going to say next, but I didn’t care as I stared into his eyes now. They are like mine, but so much darker and complex in a way that I don’t even know how to describe. I could tell he’s angered, but I didn’t give any care to how he felt.  _

“Or what?”  _ I say in an almost tempting manner.  _ “Kill me?” 

_ He chuckled darkly before I felt his hand squeeze on my hip, one of my many weak points. I almost moan at how sensitive it makes me, but I have no time as I am soon pinned to where the other once was. I scramble to my feet since he lets me for some reason or another, but I have nowhere to go as now we are in the same position as earlier; a different wall this time.  _

“Why would I kill you, Hongjoong-ah? You’ve done so much for me and my members that I think you deserve a little something~” 

_ That’s when it hits me, hard. He wasn’t going to kill me, his statement was made clear, but rather he’s going to fuck me. I knew his hand was right next to my head while I could feel his face coming closer and closer to my own. I want to back away, but I know that I have no escape from what's to come.  _

“Why so tense? I just want to make you feel good…”  _ he asks me while sounding disappointed to see if I would pity him for it. I only feel myself trying to escape the matter even more before one of his hands cup my face. I could see him smiling softly, but I don’t know what I did for him to even feel this attraction to me. So what do I do in this position? Give him what he wants.  _

_ I snake my hands around his neck; under his mullet before I pull him closer for our lips to meet. To say that this is kissing myself, is not it? This doesn't feel like I’m kissing myself at all; instead, it feels as if I really am kissing someone that I love and deeply care for. His tongue glides across my bottom lip as a plea for instance. I eventually open up and give it to him.  _

_ Our tongues dance around as I feel myself submitting to him. His talented lips suck down on my own, pulling a breathy noise from the depths of my throat. He grins, I can tell, but I don’t do anything other than try to kiss him back.  _

_ He leaves a light tap on my thigh as a signal for me to jump up. I do it without hesitation as he catches me. I don’t know what it’s like to carry another me, but he can do it very well. I don’t open my eyes to see him, but I know that he’s there. This isn’t some dream or a way for my mind to plague me; it’s just reality testing me.  _

_ We pull away for a moment. We’re left panting like dogs as we meet each other’s eyes. What I try to look for is his muscular strength, but the clad he wears covers it as I go back in for another desperate kiss. He laughs before we just let our lips meet again and again before he decides to put his mouth somewhere else.  _

_ Butterfly like kisses is left on the nape of my neck as I move my head over more to give him room to work. Then he begins to lightly kiss and suck on my skin before my breathing comes a little bit hard to control. No desperate noise leaves my lips yet as he now bites down harder with the wish of a more eager response.  _

_ He’s only gotten so far with me wearing a hoodie, but from how he grips me, I know he wants more. He walks me over to the bed now before he gently sits me down in my sheets and whatever else is on this bed.  _

“It’s too dark in here,”  _ he complains before leaving a small kiss on my head.  _ “At least turn on a lamp or something.” 

“I’d rather be in the dark…”  _ I whisper. He raises an eyebrow before coming down on me again. It’s not that much, but I could tell that we are face-to-face. He places a hand on my face again before his thumb rubs across my lips.  _

“I want to see your beautiful face, Hongjoong. I want to see what you look like when you’re happy when I kiss your cheek. I want to see how pleased you look when I fuck you until you can’t think straight. So please, turn on the light.” 

_ I’ve never felt so emotional in my life. No one has ever said that to me, not even my head. This is how I know that he’s not me in any fashion or form. We have the same face, but that seems to be it. I walk over to the light switch and flick it on to where everything is exposed.  _

_ He smiles as he sees me in the light. Half of me was tempted to look in the mirror to see the marks left on my neck, but I decided that it could be left alone until tomorrow morning. I pick up the clothes and other things on the floor before putting them where they belong. I do what I can to make up my bed as I could feel his look linger on me.  _

“I never thought about dying my hair blue.” 

“Is there something wrong with it?”

“No. I just never thought that something so irrelevant would make the difference in how a person looks.”

_ He flirts with me like I’m nothing; putty that he can put in his hands and mold into whatever that he wants. Is it bad to say that I’ve always longed for attention like that? I guess not. When everything seems to be cleaned, I go back over to him.  _

_ We sit on the bed as he just leaves small touches and kisses over my clothed frame. It annoys me in the slightest that he doesn't want to rip my clothes off or something, but I could say that it is one way that we are alike. We don’t like being exposed.  _

“Do you want to do this?” 

“Whatever you want.” 

_ I couldn’t think of a better response, so I just said that. He just nods before getting to work. His hands go to the hem of my hoodie before pulling it over my head. I feel embarrassed, but I hide it the best that I can as he continues to undress the rest of me. My jeans come off next before he takes away my shoes to almost expose me fully.  _

_ He then stands up while spreading his hands out to show that he wants me to undress him in the same way. I get up off of the bed to see something almost strange. We are the same person and here he is taller than me. I would soon see if it’s the shoes as I bend down to untie the leather boots he wears.  _

_ And sure enough, it’s not.  _

_ He smiles at that before patting me on the head in a similar motion to how the others do it. I blush madly before removing his sweater and jeans, tossing them to the side. I was right by saying that he is more muscular than myself, so I guess I need to work out more? _

_ It’s only left as a half-hearted thought before our lips are reconnected again. I sit down on the bed as he still cranes down to keep up connected. How strange this is, but it feels so right. I watch as he pulls away for a moment again.  _

_ I crawl back on the bed more as I see he’s gone to turn on the lamp that sits on my desk. He then turns off the overhead light to where it’s darker again. I smile at that before he picks me up to lay me down on top of his lap. I smile at him bashfully before we connect our lips again. His hands roam freely around my body as I only keep my hands in his hair to keep my ground. He moans at every pull and tug I give, but it doesn't stop him from keeping his tongue in my mouth.  _

_ He now moves down to my body where bruises are getting made in the process. I only let out sharp breaths rather than a moan coming loose. I could tell that he was pondering in his mind why I wouldn’t moan, but it remains a mystery to him.  _

_ We flip our position now as he looks at my thighs. I would never admit it, but my thighs are something that I’m very sensitive about. He looks at me as I keep my eyes locked with his.  _ “Do you want me to even touch them?” 

“How do you feel?”  _ I ask. So he must feel the same way as he's asking me about my thighs. Sensitivities are something very prone when it comes to fucking, so I’m not surprised that we kinds of steered cleared at the moment.  _

_ He moves back up before my wrists are pinned above my head. I smile at him when he brushes my dark blue hair away from my face. He smiles back as his hand soon travels down to the waistband of my boxers. I know that he wants to pull them down, so I let him.  _

_ They fall down my ankles when he finally removes the elastic from my waist. He sinks back down again before licking a wet stripe up my prominent member. I shiver before covering my mouth as a moan threatens to leave it.  _

_ He laughs, the man about to fuck me, as he soon leaves a kiss on the inside of my thigh. I twitch a little at the touch but say nothing about it as he leaves a small trail leading down to my foot. He’s caring, like me, but I know somewhere in there we have a difference when it comes to the bed.  _

_ My member now curls against my stomach as small pearls of precome paint my chest. I wanted to be touched, to be fucked, but I’m not a beggar and never have been. His eyes look at my helpless state before he goes over to the drawer. He picks the right drawer to find my lube and condoms before pulling out the tiny bottle of lubricant.  _

_ The cool liquid slides down his fingers as I see them soon align with my entrance. I tensed in the excitement in nervousness as he now meets those lust-filled eyes with mine for another time again tonight.  _

“You’re so desperate, Hongjoong-ah. It’s like you’re waiting for me to put in my fingers so you’ll come just from that. We can’t have that so sudden now, can we?” 

_ I gulp _ . “N-no. Of course not.” 

“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page. Now would you be so kind as to untense for me?”

“I can’t. I feel so...so nervous.”  _ I admit it as shame rolls off of me. I’ve had sex many times; the members always needing a release at some point, so why does it make me so nervous right now?  _

_ He coon captures my lips in his once again before I could feel myself melt. I kiss back as if my life depended on it before he sticks a finger right in. I moan right into the kiss as he allows me time to adjust to the finger lodged inside of me.  _

_ The lube helps the digit move in and out without hesitation as he is determined to make me a mess. Another one and soon a third one is soon prompted in as he uses his mouth to work on my pecs. His tongue swirls around them as he bites down to get a lewd noise to escape my parted lips.  _

_ He finally removes them before I watch him lube himself up to the side. I was nervous to see if what he has will even fit inside of me, but I don’t even have time to consider before he’s pushing the tip inside of my stretched entrance. I let out a small hiss, but I soon adjusted before telling him that he can move inside of me.  _

_ But then he doesn't. He sits there with the tip of his cock being devoured by my entrance while looking at me with that same look he did in the kitchen.  _ “Are you okay? We can stop if you don’t want to do this…” 

“I want to, believe me. But I just found it funny that you haven’t even said my name yet. Do you even know it as well as I know yours?”

_ I knew his name, I just never found it appropriate to say it. He looks at me with those eyes of want and needs as he soon wants to get me to scream his name until I can’t speak for the next few days. I look back up to him, knowing he wants his answer, but I won’t give it to him yet.  _

“What’s my name, Hongjoong?” 

_ You know what, fuck it.  _ “Joonghong. Mik Joonghong.” 

“Say it louder,”  _ he demands as he lowers down my ear.  _ “Now what is my name?”

“Joonghong!”  _ I say louder to where I know that it pleasures him.  _

_ Joonghong moves his member deeper at the mention of his name. I moan out unconsciously as I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into the toxic fumes of pleasure. He’s fully inside of me now, I know by how our faces meet more comfortably. No matter how much it looks, we’re not the same.  _

_ Not identical in any way when it comes to this. In some things, we are duplicated, but in something as serious as this, we play our parts differently. He smiles as he starts to move out at a slow pace before slamming back into me with a powerful force.  _

_ I cover my mouth to escape the volumed moan that escapes, but he removes it when he slams into me once again. I’ve never felt so alive during something like this, but something about this made me wish that this moment never ends. He looks at me with a smile before kissing around my face in some sort of automated rhythm. I smile at the attention as I soon feel that knot in my stomach swell.  _

“J-joonghong...I think…” 

“Cum. I want you to be comfortable with me doing this, so cum as much as you like.”

_ My orgasm bursts as white paints our chests. I pant hard as muscles spasm inside of me, but I don’t say anything much as Joonghong does his best to calm me down as he continues to thrust inside of me. It wasn’t long until he cums inside of me and then pulls out.  _

_ He lies down on the bed next to me as we do what we can do to steady our breaths. I watch as he soon arises out of the bed before coming over to pick me up. I snuggle into his chest as he soon places me on the counter inside of my bathroom. I look to where he runs me a bath before he goes back into the bedroom to change the sheets and clean up the bed.  _

_ He comes back in to stop the tub from running over before heading back out again. I sit on the small counter in patience before he comes back in with a change of clothes for both of us. He smiles at me before placing a peck on my cheek while setting me down into the welcoming warmth of the water.  _

_ He slides in a well as he begins to scrub me clean inside and out. Kisses are all we give each other in the comfortable silence we provide between both of us. He smiles at me while drying my hair and dressing me in boxers and a teal hoodie. He wears sweats and a yellow t-shirt of mine before we go off to the bedroom.  _

_ We cuddle in each other’s warmth before sleep takes us in its peaceful wake. The last thing I remember is him saying ‘I love you’ in a soft tone that finally sent me to sleep.  _

_ 000 _

_ Morning comes. The sun shines through my window as I open my eyes to see a sleeping Joonghong laying by my side. He remains asleep as I could only gaze at his peaceful sleeping form. Is this what it’s like to watch yourself sleep? I wonder if it is…  _

_ I take one of my hands to brush through his untamed mane before his eyes slowly open up. He smiles when he sees me before placing a small kiss on my cheek.  _ “Good morning, Joongie~” 

_ I smile before saying good morning back. We get up- I put on some sweatpants to not look suspicious- before we head down the stairs to where our members wait. They all look at us before he only gives them a stare back. I could only pray to God above that they didn’t hear anything last night.  _

“So, Joonghong!”  _ Wooyoung speaks up.  _ “How was our Hongjoong last night?” 

_ I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I shift in my place where I stand before heading for the kitchen once again. More words are being said back in the living space of our apartment, but I don’t say anything or cause any ruckus as I decide to begin breakfast for the members.  _

“Still thinking of others before yourself? When will you learn Hongjoong-ah….” 

_ I look back at Joonghong before shrugging. He takes my hand before suddenly leading me back upstairs. He dresses me in some jeans before giving me some shoes to put on. He does the same with his outfit before placing a black mask around his face.  _

“Where are we going?” 

“Do you expect me not to treat you to date? We’re going to the cafe.” 

_ I smile at that before we go back downstairs. The members look at us before we almost head out the door.  _ “We’re heading out! Seonghwa and Hwaseong are in charge, so Wooyoung doesn’t burn the apartment down!” 

_ And we shut the door, hand and hand, now caring to look back.  _


End file.
